Hello again Fam. This week has been good. I've learned lots of lessons and it's been awesome. I'm grateful for this upcoming week cuz we have so many events starting with MLC tomorrow. So i'm really excited for that! I'm doing great and I really love my mission.
I have so much I want to write and tell you about, but the one thing I really want to talk to you about is about optimism. Which is funny because this week I was the exact opposite. I don't think I have had a week where I have been so pessimistic than I have this week. I don't know what happened, but seriously this week I got an all time low. I felt like everything and everyone hated me. My companion, my area, the people, the ward.. literally everything. As we worked everyday we got "punted" I don't know if they use that term in other missions, but in this mission it literally means that no one accepted you to teach them, all your appointments fell through, and really just nothing worked out. So we were getting so punted everyday as we worked this week. One thing about me being a missionary is I HATE GETTING PUNTED. I literally can't handle it. I get so fired up and just want to kill everyone (with the gospel of course) I really just don't like rejections. When people turn us away, say they aren't interested, or make fun of us, man it just really gets me sad.
So one day this week I just couldn't handle it anymore. We had been walking all day in the heat of the sun and no one was home. Literally we went to like everyone we could think of walking probably like 10km this way and that way and finally we get to the last person we could think of going to.. and guess what. She wasn't home. So I bursted into tears and just cried on her doorstep. I really felt so sad. I felt no love and just like everything really sucked. Then I said a prayer. I really really simple prayer. I just asked for Heavenly Father to help me get through this day. And that was it. When I gathered myself together and stood up, I decided to smile. I decided to do what I needed to do and be a disciple of my Savior Jesus Christ. As we were walking back to the road, we decided to OYM a lady who was standing outside. Her name was Niang and she was amazing. She was a Catholic, but had a really good friend who was a Mormon and she was always interested in what Mormon's believed in. She let us teach her and we taught the Restoration powerfully. We then gave her a Book of Mormon and invited her to read it for herself. A couple days later we came back and she had read the whole introduction and had started in the beginning part.
As this small and simple miracle occurred and can't help but think how important it is for all of us to just keep trying and to keep going no matter how hard things get. This experience proved to me that Heavenly Father is mindful of each one of us and he really does want what is best for us.
I have felt like many things have been a real struggle in this area and with some of our people, but this week I decided to end the week being as positive and as happy and bright as I could. People then could look at me and want what I had, but when your sad and grumpy it's hard for people to want what you have.. haha but as we ended the week and as I continued to make this my goal the more success we found. Not only with investigators, but with the Ward as well. We went from no one talking to our investigators and no one really caring about missionary work, to a ton of the members going up to our investigators and talking and fellow shipping them. As well as we coordination in a great meeting with all of the Auxiliary leaders about missionary work and wow, It was amazing.
So I testify that being optimistic and staying positive at all times can really help. It has helped me so much on my mission and i'm grateful for the change of heart I had this week to change and be more happy and be more positive about everything. :)
Plus it's more fun to be happy anyway. The joy I feel as a missionary though is indescribale. As I describe the hardships and rough parts about missionary work, it doesn't mean that there aren't the same amount of joys and happiness. I am so happy and I feel so grateful to be a missionary. The joy that fills my heart when I see my investigators come to church, or a less active become reactivated and taking the sacrament again, or someone simply accepting a message and changing their lives step by step is literally indescribable joy.
I'm grateful I get to feel this joy everyday. I love you all with my whole heart and I'm grateful for you. Thank you for being wonderful people and for staying positive and happy no matter what.
Mahal ko kayo,
Sister Barton
Ps. Yes Mom, that is the dress you gave me for my bday. It looks better on her promise :)
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