"Oh the Drama" -Sister Holzworth

Hi everyone,

Man has this week been INSANE. Literally that is the only way I can even kind of describe it. hahaha but on a positive side of the week I got all your wonderful letters for my birthday, so that was really nice. As well as I received a birthday package from the one and only ALS :) So thanks so so so much, I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE M&M's haha and I even got some happy half way ones... (they came a little late considering i'm now 11 months) but that was really good so thanks for that.

So we had a sister's activity and went island hopping so that was awesome! So i'll send some pics of that... sorry i'm wearing the same shirt from my last activities but I don't buy pday clothes often.. haha but anyway the rest of my week consist of zone conference which was indescribably amazing and then drama, drama, and more drama.

So Zone Conference was really amazing and spiritually uplifting and awesome, but they always ask me to sing in it and I don't think they understand that I don't know how to sing hahaha but they had Sister Greer and I sing Come thou Fount of Every Blessing and it was actually really solid. Like not gonna lie we did pretty well. So that was cool but the next day we had the weirdest, craziest, most dramatic thing that has ever happened as I have served as a Sister Training Leader. We go to these Sisters home. They were having some drama feeling like they weren't open enough to each other and they weren't having unity and all that stuff. So I call Sister Holzworth and I was like okay let's go and do a companionship inventory with them so they can learn how to open up with each other. So we headed over there to talk and say hi and do our duty.

It started off great. We told them the reason we were there and our purpose was to get them to open up so they could have unity as companions. So we started and one of the Sisters was so open saying everything that was bugging her and asked what she could fix to be a better companion and all those things, while the other sister couldn't have a care in the world of what her companion was even saying. She would get up and go to the bathroom or grab food or find anything else to do while we were trying to do this inventory with them. Honestly, it was the weirdest thing. So we finally got her to sit down and listen and then we asked her some questions on how she felt and how she thought her companionship was doing. All she kept saying was fine. It's fine. I'm fine. Fine, fine, fine. They are both English speakers so I was like, "okay, well define fine. Fine as in like we are doing great, i'm happy, i don't see a problem type fine, or like fine as in I wanna cry on the ground life is terrible time of fine." and she just said "Sister Barton you know what fine means. If you don't know what it means get a dictionary and look it up." So I was just kinda like okay... so much for trying to help you. Like what the heck. Then luckily I had Sister Holzworth there to back me up. She just started saying things like we were there to help them have better unity and because we love them and stuff so that she would not be so mean and just listen and open up to her companion. Then the Sister we were talking to kept rolling her eyes at Sister Holzworth.. At this point I was just kinda annoyed at the Sister cuz I was like what the heck.. are you serious?! So I was like, "Okay well obviously your not fine because you look like you are about to burst into tears, you keep rolling your eyes at sister holzworth and you just really don't seem fine." Then she didn't say anything. She got up. Went to her bedroom and laid on her bed. So after a short minute or two for me and Sister Holzworth to become chill and calm again and not freak out and want to yell at her, we walked into the room and calmly told her all we wanted to do was help her and her companion so that they could have unity in the work and move forward stronger than they were now. Then.. this lovely sister, wonderfully, awesome sister, decided to play a game. This 20 year old sister wanted to play the quiet game and she pretended like she couldn't hear anything Sister Holzworth and I were saying to her. 

Oh my gosh you guys... she ignored us for 3 HOURS!! There was no way we could just leave and say to her companion, "well you got this, we are done. See ya later" like there was no way we could do that... so Sister Holzworth was getting so so so angry hahaha she was getting so riled up because of the sister ignoring us. So she left the room and I just tried to talk to her. Oh my gosh I can't even explain how weird this whole experience was. She would just stare at me and then look away. It was like I wasn't even there, but she just kept on ignoring us. But I finally got her to talk just enough so that she would talk to Sister Ostler and get it all settled. 

Finally after she talked with Sister Ostler she started talking to us again and just said "well that was a waste of time and a fun game I got to play.." So that was a little bit messed up and Sister Holzworth and I were so angry afterwards. But you know what I learned from this experience... that everyone has hard times in their life. 

Literally that is what I learned. I remember being so angry that we helped her. I remember feeling like that was the biggest waste of the Lord's time when I could've been out working and helping people and helping my area that is really struggling right now. I remember showering that night (I receive revelation in the shower just fyi) but I was showering just so angry that we wasted so much time for a girl that obviously just had no respect and I sat there in the room with her for 1 hour by myself trying to get her to open or just talk to me and it was so rough and I just remember being so angry that we even went over there in the first place. But as I was in the shower I just got an overwhelming thought that just said, "You helped. She needed to hear what you said to her." And honestly after I got that thought my whole body and mind relaxed and I just felt a sense of peace come over my whole body. 

So I don't know why I shared that whole thing with you, I guess so you can know how crazy my life is right now, but I love it. I love everything about my mission. Even getting ignored for 3 hours.. I love it all. My companion Sister Greer is struggling a little bit more than usual and it has been a little bit rough this last week, but hopefully we can figure it out this next week and help her even more. I love Sister Greer though. It's really weird speaking English all the time and being with an American, but she is awesome. And I love love love being back together again with my half co sister training leader companion Sister Holzworth. I literally don't think I would be able to do this without her. So I am very grateful for her. 

So I guess no true joy comes if you don't have gratitude. I am grateful for my mission and for the crazy experiences I get to have every single day. I AM FILLED WITH GRATITUDE. This mission is like something I have never experienced before, but I love it with all my heart. And I love all of you with all my heart. Keep doing what is right and keep the commandments. Read the Book of Mormon, Chose the Right, and Be Happy.

Mahal Ko Kayo,

Sister Barton 

11 Months

Family,

Okayyyyyy... this is getting ridiculous. I'm getting SO OLD in the mission... like what the heck eleven months all ready? Ahhhh it's too much for me to handle. I don't wanna talk about it, so i'm not going to.

Anyway, my week was absolutely fantastic, crazy, but fantastic.. why? BECAUSE JANELLA GOT BAPTIZED AND I GOT TO SEE!!! Ahhhh On Saturday Janella walked into the waters of baptism and made a beautiful sacred covenant with God. And it was just that, beautiful. Last week I received a text from President Ostler that said I had permission to attend her baptism and I was jumping up and down for joy because I was so excited. I have really tried to be exactly obedient on my mission and I have tried my very hardest to do the best I can, but yet I am the planter. I plant the best people in the world and work and work and work on helping them and then right as they are about to get baptized... BOOM I get transferred. This time, even tho I got transferred I was able to attend and see how happy and filled with faith Janella was on Saturday. Ahhh she is such a special person and I really love her so much. So that was a really really neat experience.

This last week has been crazy trying to figure everything out with working, to planning and coordinating with Sister Holzworth for meetings, to helping the other sisters, as well as helping my companion. Man so much stress.. But over these last months if there is one thing I have learned it is that I AM NOT ALONE. I have learned more than ever in my whole life that I need to completely trust in the Lord in everything I do. If anyone would've asked me if I thought within 10, well I guess 11 now, months of my mission I would be able to train a foreigner who doesn't know how to speak Tagalog and be a Sister Training Leader at the same time, I would've laughed in their face, or I would've fallen on the ground and started crying, but I NEVER would've thought I could do this. Really, if you think about it, I can't. I can't do any of this. But, if the Lord and the Spirit is with me, I can. Because I can do anything the Lord wants me to. I can do it with His divine help.

I remember when I first got into the MTC. A bunch of the missionaries were writing down weaknesses that they wanted the teachers to help them with before they got out to the field. Things like, learning more of preach my gospel, or knowing the scriptures better, or being better at Tagalog, etc. For me, what I wrote down, was my weakness was having faith, completely and utterly trusting in the Lord in all things. When we talked with our teachers one on one we shared with them what we can do to make our weakness become a strength. I remember just crying to my teacher telling her I had such little faith and I really don't know how to make it stronger. I remember her asking me when the last time was that I really showed my faith. I told her when I came on this mission. I said when I left my family and actually got on the plane, that is was the first time I think I really showed Heavenly Father I had faith. 

Now, as I look back on these last 11 months. I really am so different. The fact that I had such little trust and such little faith in Heavenly Father is really sad, but I can honestly say now, my weakness has become a strength. I think that if anyone asked me to take on any challenge I could do it, with the Lord by my side at all times. Without the Lord, we are nothing. We can do nothing. If we think we can become more without Him we are so far off, we need to repent and rely on Him ALWAYS. He is the Lord. He is our Savior. He is our Master. He is here for us always to lift, guide, and help us in all things. 

I love this work. I love how much I have changed and how much this gospel can really make you stronger. To think how much I have grown in these last 11 months is incredibly INSANE. I love it. I wouldn't change any part of these last 11 months for anything. I have learned so much and I can't wait to continue to learn and continue to become the person Heavenly Father wants me to be. 

As hard as it is we just gotta keep on keeping on. haha I love you all and I appreciate your love and support to me so much. Continue onward and Trust and Faith and the Lord will always help you. Thank you for everything. Continue to CTR and be happy always. 

Mahal ko kayo,

Sister Barton 

Ps. pics of Sister Janella and me, also with Sister Greer and Sister Tekanene

Pss. The other pic is of us doing our service. They cut their plants with a Macheti? Idk how to spell that, but I totally cut my finger bad soooo that was cool. hahaha I LOVE THE PHILIPPINES.

The Right Path

Family!!

So I have some really big news... again. Before that, I just want to say thank you for the Birthday gifts! Mom, I loved my bday package and you are the greatest person. To all my cute cousins, thanks for all the cute notes. I loved it. I haven't gotten cards and stuff yet, because they accidentally took those to the Narra zone.. So I won't be getting letters and things until next week at Zone Conference.. lame, but what can ya do? haha So thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you all. 

Now for the big news... So this week has been crazy in my stewardship (which was kinda rough considering I was the only STL to figure it all out) but lets just say a companionship in my stewardship really DID NOT get along too well.. so needless to say there was an emergency transfer and now I have a co partner who is not my companion, but is my co Sister Training Leader. Thank goodness.. It's way too big of a job to do alone, but guess who my co Sister Training Leader is... SISTER HOLZWORTH!!! Right? haha who would've thought I would've been with her again?! Ahhhh it's so funny cuz after going what.. 10 months without seeing her, now I am going to see her like every other day so that's awesome! :) I'm so happy, you guys have no idea! hahaha so that's the news for this week. I swear I have a new companion or new news every week... haha but hopefully it'll stop at least for 3 weeks until the actual transfer.

This week has been great, crazy, dramatic, busy, but great. It's so awesome to be with a foreigner. It's so weird, but it's awesome! She like get's what i'm saying and can understand things before I have to tell her and it's so cool. It's also neat cuz I getta look at what I was like when I first came out to the mission field. Like of course I was a lot different than her, but in some things quite the same. It's so cool to see how much you grow on a mission. Even when it comes to people. When I first came on my mission I HATED to OYM (open your mouth) and talk to people on the street and things, but now I literally have no fear. It's incredible. It doesn't make any sense to fear the people you are trying to help save. I love training and helping her understand some of the things that took me a long time to figure out. 

We had so many incredible experiences and miracles this week. Including our new investigator who is such a seeker of the gospel came to church as well as one of our long time less actives. She even brought her non member father to come to church with her. Wow, the Lord really gives a lot of blessings to those who try their best to do what is right.

I am really trying my very hardest to do everything I can to be a full time missionary. We always say we are, but I really want to be one. Full time, not just here and there or sometimes, but always. With my words, actions, and thoughts. Always in the missionary mode. I was thinking a lot this week on how important it is for us members of the church to really endure to the end. We need to be constantly evaluating ourselves to see where we are in life. And continue to walk in faith on the straight and narrow pathway. 

One scripture I was thinking of a lot this week was the scripture in the New Testament. When Jesus tells them to hold to the plow and not look back. How we need to follow him and not wait for the "right time" and not wait for when we are so lost to come back, but now. 

As we were riding in a tricycle the other day, our driver kept looking back. I think he thought something was behind him so he continued looking back and then would glance and the road again then look back again and he did this for a good 10 min. Every time he would like back we would swerve and it was so annoying. Then the other day I was writing some goals down for our area. I was trying to look at the area book and board at the same time while I was writing and then when I looked down at the paper my writing was all crooked. As these few examples happened over the week it made me think about our lives. If we are always looking back (or at worldly things) and our eyes aren't fully focused on the Savior, we will be going crooked. We will not be on the straight and narrow path, but we will be swerving and having a hard time. So I guess my point is, we can't look back and assume to go straight. We have to have "an eye single to the glory of God" and do everything we can to keep moving forward, keep going straight, and walk on the straight and narrow path of righteousness. It is straight and it is narrow and if we look back, even a glimpse we will fall and we will get lost. 

I know it is so important for us to always look at ourselves and evaluate how we are doing. Not judge others for their imperfections, but look towards ourselves and try to be better. I know we need to endure to the end to receive eternal life. As we help ourselves and help others we will feel the blessings come into our lives and we will feel that happiness the gospel brings to us. 

I love every minute of my mission. I'm grateful for what I have learned and for what I still continue learn each and everyday. I pray for all of you everyday and I love you all with my whole heart. Continue living the gospel and help others if they seem to struggle. Read the Book of Mormon, CTR, and be happy while doing it. Thanks for all you do and for the love you give me every Monday haha 

Mahal ko kayo,

Sister Barton 

Going With The Flow

Family!!

So this week has been absolutely insane... My companion has been really sick for the last three weeks, like throwing up everything and headaches and just super bad stuff (pretty much just another Sister Vaka). So anyway we haven't worked a lot in our area in this last week and it's been a little rough, but i have been optimistic for the future... but that was a bad idea. So anyway this week we had MLC in Manila so we left on Wednesday had a really crazy day and ended up just sleeping in the Mission Home to go to MLC on thursday. MLC was soooo good like it always is, but in the middle of it my companion Sister Laug Laug was like dying and actually had to go up and rest in our room.. So then it was just me in the MLC, but i also got to see Sister Holzworth and wow was that the best thing of my whole entire life. Ahhhh i have missed her so much. it was so awesome to see her!! Anyway, then after MLC one of the Sister's in Sister Holzworth stewardship came over to talk to me. She is American and is from Virginia and she has just had a really hard time adjusting to the Philippines. Her trainer didn't really speak English, she had culture shock, and she just had been struggling emotionally, physically, just the whole thing. So i talked to her and it was really good. She is so cute and just such a sweet Sister.

 After that we ended up staying in the Mission Home until Friday so Sister Laug Laug could see a doctor and find out what is wrong with her.. i was suppossed to go back to Palawan on Friday night just alone, but i missed my flight cuz of traffic so that was sad.. but then after Sister Laug Laug's appointment President Ostler had decided to just have her stay in Manila for now and be apart of a different companionship. So i just had to stay in the Mission Home by myself friday night and catch a flight in the morning. Which wasn't all that bad considering they had GREAT food and i was with President and Sister Ostler, in this way nice house with Air Con and Hot water... so i'm not complaining or anything, but then on Friday as President Ostler and i were talking and we were thinking maybe Sister Greer could be my companion in Palwan. So he prayed and pondered about it on Friday night and then on Saturday he told me he thinks it would work and be a great idea.   

So on Saturday Sister Ostler and i went to the mission office to pick up Sister Greer and help her pack. Then we flew to Palwan and now Sister Greer is my companion. She is awesome! She just came into the field on August 24th and she is from Springfeild Virginia. So i'm really happy that i am now her companion. i feel like we are going to learn a lot together and from each other. it is a little bit harder because i am now training her (and she is a foreigner, but she is pretty good at Tagalog for just getting out of the MTC) and we are fresh starting the area because i have no idea where anything is.. we hardly worked because Sister Laug Laug was so sick, and now i am also a Sister Training Leader. So it's a little bit of stress, but it is okay because i am learning more than ever how to really, fully, completely, trust and rely on the Lord. 

The thing that is really kind of hard is i thought it was going to be a little easier fresh starting this area, but when i got home on Saturday and looked at the area book.. there is nothing. Let's just say either things got lost or someone didn't care to touch it in the last couple of months..So it is going to be a little bit harder than i expected, but it's okay because i know that the Lord is here for me and he will help me. We have a member in our area who knows most of the people so i think that will help a lot. i just have to try to get everything organized, do my part, try my best, and leave the rest to the Lord. Honestly i have been praying really hard for strength and help to be able to do everything that is required of me. i haven't felt really stressed. Every time i pray i have felt nothing but peace and love. Honestly, i think this is really an amazing experience for me because i have been relying on the Lord more than ever before and i can literally feel Him with me in every step of this work. So if training, fresh starting, and being a sister training leader is what it takes for me to really put all of my heart and all of my trust in the Lord than i am more than willing to do it. it's crazy how happy and calm i feel about everything right now. i don't feel stress i just feel happy and i really do feel confident in the Lord being right here with me in every phase of this work.i am so grateful to be here. i know it will be hard and i will have to constantly look to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for guidance and help, but that is how it is supposed to be. 

We have already seen miracles in our area and it has only been like three days. We were able to have a less active come to church on Sunday. After church and coordination meeting we went exploring a little in our area. i remembered one sister who was in our area who was a part member that Sister Laug Laug and i taught last week. As i tried to remember where she lived i had the impression to go down a certain street and ask for directions or to see if the person living there knew her. When we said "tao po" to the house an old lady came out and said she didn't know her. Then just as we were about to turn away and start down to another street, the man who was at church earlier comes out of the house! Then i was in complete shock, knowing that the Holy Ghost really lead us to this man.. Sadly we didn't have a third babae so we weren't able to teach, but we found where he lives. Wow.. it is just amazing to see how the Lord works. This experience just really showed me that the Lord really is here to lead us and guide us in His work and how important it really is to be sensitive to the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

i am so excited for this transfer and i can't wait to see how much more i grow. i have learned so much on my mission and i continue to learn and grow everyday. This is going to be a real test of trust and faith on my part, but i know that with the Lord i can do anything. Thank you all for your prayers and your support. i love you all with my whole heart. Keep reading the Book of Mormon, CTR, and be happy. 

Mahal ko kayo,

Sister Barton

Ps. My companion, Sister Greer also makes american food all the time and she is really good at it and it's awesome so that's cool :)

PPs. Sorry i can't do capitalized i's on this computer.. haha